Haley's Comment Penthouse.com

EPISODE 62-- No Honey, No Money

After I made my appointment with Sean, agreed to help Tina with the Million Ho March and had lunch delivered to the homeless in the 59th Street subway station, I decided it was time to talk to PJ about what had happened with Damien at the races. I had to let PJ know that I wanted to boycott dealing with Blue as much as possible in order to avoid my now-more-than-ever most-hated ex.

I found PJ in his office with his feet on his desk listening to a CD. “These guys are fuckin’ amazing,” he said, and pointed at the speaker.

“Who are they?” I said, and sat down.

“Faux Jean ,” he said. “They’ve been getting a lot of airplay on 99X.”

He handed me their press kit and I thumbed through it, not really reading. Just waiting for the right moment to broach the reason of my visit. “So PJ,” I said finally. “I want to talk to you about Blue.”

“Yea?” he said. “Me too.” He put his feet down and rolled his chair closer in to his desk. “She’s doing the video for ‘Two for Tuesday’ on Thursday at Silvercup Studios. I want you to spend a little time there. Make sure everything’s moving smoothly.”

“You mean baby-sit, don’t you?” I was insulted. I’d long since passed the point in my career at TK of ‘making sure things ran smoothly’ at video shoots--which usually meant running out for Evian because some artist won’t drink the Poland Springs provided on the set.

“It’s more complicated than baby-sitting,” said PJ. “We’re spending way more on Blue’s album than we should. But I want this to be a success. We got a goddamn great comeback on our hands, but we gotta make absolute fuckin’ sure nothing goes wrong. And I want Blue to know that we’re behind her 100 fuckin’ per cent.”

“So why don’t you go?” I said.

“Because I’m flying to London to meet with Roger Brentworth and close TK/UK.”

TK/UK had been PJ’s pet project when he was married to his third wife. She was British and PJ opened the office as much to get a TK finger on the pulse of the European market as to be with her in London. They divorced of course, and PJ put Roger Brentworth in to run it, and PJ came back to TK/NYC for good.

But TK/UK never showed a profit, and the rumor amps as of late buzzed it was first in line on a long line of company-wide cut backs. Still, it was a shock to hear it was closing straight from PJ’s lips

. “I’m sorry, PJ,” I said. “But you’re going to have to get someone else to go to Blue’s shoot.” I told him the story of Damien and the racetrack and my black and white checkered hot pants. I left off the part about the celestial bargain I’d made for Badass’s recovery.

“I just don’t want to deal with Blue anymore,” I said. “I want to stay as far away from her as possible.”

“But Blue isn’t the fuckin’ problem.” PJ picked up another CD from his desk, squinted at the writing on the back of it, and put on his glasses. “The fuckin’ problem is Damien.”

“But he’s married to Blue,” I said. “At least until she wises up that he’s an asshole.” I tossed Faux Jean’s press kit onto PJ’s desk. “When she finds that out, it’s going to crush her and totally yank the sober wagon out from under her feet. I don’t want to be around and see that.”

“Well, you’ve gotta fuckin’ prevent that from happening,” he said.

“What?” I said.

“Keep Blue from finding out what an asshole Damien is. We can’t afford for her to start drinking again. Not with the fuckin’ comeback of the 21st century in the works. You’ve got to keep that goddamn marriage together and keep Blue sober and happy.” “How am I supposed to do that?” I said. “Talk to Damien.” PJ took the Faux Jean CD out and popped in the one that had made him squint. “Let him fuckin’ know that he better fuckin’ behave himself if he wants to have a shot at ever being a goddamn rock star. At least until “Two for Tuesday” hits the charts. He better do everything he can to keep Blue happy or he’s outta a meal ticket.”

“I don’t want to talk to Damien,” I said.

“I want to avoid him. Besides, why would he listen to me?”

“Because you’re his ex and you fuckin’ work for his fatted calf’s record label.” PJ scribbled some notes about Faux Jean on a Post-it and stuck it on the jewel case. “And you owe it to Blue to talk to him. And you owe it to TK. We can’t afford for this fuckin’ project to tank.”

Do you think TK’s having financial troubles? Or is PJ just being prudent during these harsh economic times?

Will it do any good for our heroine to read the riot act to Damien? Or will another tête-à-tête only bring more trouble?